So on Friday we had our homestudy with our case worker for the adoption process. He basically asks us more specific questions then we have already answered in our paperwork to make sure the judge gets all of the correct info. Then he looked over our house to make sure it was clean and child friendly. We just moved into a 2 bedroom apartment so we were up late on Thursday unpacking and putting on the final touches. My mom came over and I would not have been able to finish it without her. She has that mother nack and could put away things that I would just stare at...I was a little tired and fried that night. So now we just need to get a fire extinguisher and baby proof our cabinets with chemicals.
Our case worker was great and answered a lot of our questions and got us revved up again after all of the tedious paperwork had worn us down. He also, however, put a bug in our ear about foster to adopt programs though the state. It is a tough route to go because the goal of foster care is to return the baby to the family and you can end up taking care of an infant for 2 years and then have to give them back to their birth parents. The upside is that once you are certified through the state, you can receive a child to foster rather quickly.
Can I say that as my case worker described this to me it felt great! Dustin felt differently though. He looked at it all more practically and doesn't think we should foster until we have been able to adopt a child of our own. While our case worker described a family that had adopted 4 children through the foster to adopt program, they did have to give their child back the first two times they fostered and he said it was devastating.
I don't know. I can't let go of this feeling that this might be the way to go and it is bigger than us. we would be giving a home to children that really need it. As I looked at the LDS profiles of people looking to adopt, the numbers amazed me. There are so many wonderful people open to adopting, waiting to be chosen, hoping to get picked by a birth mother. And yet there are so many children in the state who need a stable home, who need the love and support that I know we can give. I know it could be challenging, I know we could have our hearts broken, but I can't let the idea go.
So it would be great if you could way in. We are going to an information meeting this Sat. so I will have more to report after that. And I know Dustin's feelings are valid. We are going to have to really pray about it all and be aware of all of the options and consequences before we make a decision.
4 comments:
Dude, Lyndz, hard decision. I've gotta say that I'm with Dustin though. I think it would be unbelievably hard to have to give the kid away.
You both have well thought out and valid opinions. What an amazing opportunity to help a child, but could you give a child "back" if you had to?
A wonderful family in our ward fosters children. I can put you two in touch if you'd like. I think they even have visitation meetings with the Mom, too. I don't know if I could go through all of that. I think it's incredible that you are considering it so seriously. You are both amazing!
I think you were right though...fast and pray about it-A LOT.
My opinion probably doesn't help much, but no matter what, I know you will be awesome parents! Heavenly Father is aware of you and the family you are meant to have.:)
Proverbs 3:5-6
You and Dustin are amazing people! You will do so great at loving and raising a child. There are a lot of people praying for you two and for your future child. Its hard to wait for an answer but while you wait it is amazing how the Lord will bless you and refine you. you are amazing and a perfect child will come your way!
I think you guys would make great parents and I think there are alot of children out there who need parents. The Lord will bless you just have Faith. I know easier said then done but I know he wants you to be parents as much as you do. Just have to be ready for the perfect time. I think it would be cool to foster and sad but even if you had to give the child back just imagine the impression you have made on their lives.
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