Tuesday, March 3, 2009

My little love


As I sit here contemplating the last tow months, trying to type with one hand my thoughts while using the other arm to cuddle with Jackson as he recovers from today's shots, I am overwhelmed with gratitude. Never in my life did I think I could love someone so much. From the moment I saw him born I felt my life and heart change and I know I will never be the same.
But let me start at the beginning...although at the rate I am typing I might have to finish another day.
Jackson was born on January 2nd, 2009 at 7am at Scottsdale Memorial Hospital. We were called by his birth mother Mindy on the 1st at 8pm as we were watching Benjamin Button. WE went home, got Penny to leave at my parents, and went to the hospital.
While it was a long night it was also a very special night. Myself and Dustin grew very close to Mindy and her sisters as we waited in the room and it felt like one big family.
As dawn approached we were all getting a little fuzzy headed and tired but as time has shown, that is when Jackson likes to be the most active! It was a fast labor but a difficult one as he came out face up and one of his shoulders was stuck The doctor had to actually put one foot on the bed to brace herself as she pulled Jackson out.
I had hoped I would cry in the way that you know you should cry at weddings and funerals, but nothing could have prepared me for the onslaught of emotion I felt as I saw Jackson come into this world He was gorgeous, in a bruised and smooshed up kinda way :), and I cried as I felt my heart would burst. Perhaps this sounds over dramatic but nothing so dramatic has ever happened to me like this before. I had sent Dustin behind the curtain so as not to make Mindy feel uncomfortable in her exposed state but he saw Jackson as he was placed on the table for cleaning and I know he felt the same way.
The weekend was hard. Mindy was very brave as she spent the days saying goodbye to Jackson and my heart ached to have him home as soon as possible. There is a lot of guilt associated with adoption because you don't want to be the cause of the struggle that I know Mindy felt, but I know we all were helped and uplifted spiritually during that time because on the third night, Mindy handed Jackson over to my arms.
I guess I will leave it at that for now except to say that he now weighs 14 lbs 7 oz and is in the 97th percentile for his weight. He is almoat 24 inches long at 75% and his head is 50%. He is a huge baby boy but that just means more baby to snuggle!




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