Tuesday, March 3, 2009

My little love


As I sit here contemplating the last tow months, trying to type with one hand my thoughts while using the other arm to cuddle with Jackson as he recovers from today's shots, I am overwhelmed with gratitude. Never in my life did I think I could love someone so much. From the moment I saw him born I felt my life and heart change and I know I will never be the same.
But let me start at the beginning...although at the rate I am typing I might have to finish another day.
Jackson was born on January 2nd, 2009 at 7am at Scottsdale Memorial Hospital. We were called by his birth mother Mindy on the 1st at 8pm as we were watching Benjamin Button. WE went home, got Penny to leave at my parents, and went to the hospital.
While it was a long night it was also a very special night. Myself and Dustin grew very close to Mindy and her sisters as we waited in the room and it felt like one big family.
As dawn approached we were all getting a little fuzzy headed and tired but as time has shown, that is when Jackson likes to be the most active! It was a fast labor but a difficult one as he came out face up and one of his shoulders was stuck The doctor had to actually put one foot on the bed to brace herself as she pulled Jackson out.
I had hoped I would cry in the way that you know you should cry at weddings and funerals, but nothing could have prepared me for the onslaught of emotion I felt as I saw Jackson come into this world He was gorgeous, in a bruised and smooshed up kinda way :), and I cried as I felt my heart would burst. Perhaps this sounds over dramatic but nothing so dramatic has ever happened to me like this before. I had sent Dustin behind the curtain so as not to make Mindy feel uncomfortable in her exposed state but he saw Jackson as he was placed on the table for cleaning and I know he felt the same way.
The weekend was hard. Mindy was very brave as she spent the days saying goodbye to Jackson and my heart ached to have him home as soon as possible. There is a lot of guilt associated with adoption because you don't want to be the cause of the struggle that I know Mindy felt, but I know we all were helped and uplifted spiritually during that time because on the third night, Mindy handed Jackson over to my arms.
I guess I will leave it at that for now except to say that he now weighs 14 lbs 7 oz and is in the 97th percentile for his weight. He is almoat 24 inches long at 75% and his head is 50%. He is a huge baby boy but that just means more baby to snuggle!

6 comments:

Dave and Corey Johnson said...

He is so darling. I am so happy for you guys. It is such a neat experience to see a new little life come into this world, and even more special when you know that that little baby is yours to take care of. Jackson is so lucky to have you as a mom.

The Fish Family said...

What a great family you guys make! I tell Max all the time that being adopted makes you extra special...It is true! I love your big family picture :) so cute!

Amy, Dan and Ryan said...

Yay for updates and cute babies and parents! Congrats again. I look forward to hanging out with you two soon for our predictably crazy play date.

THE LEWIS' said...

lyndzee and dustin,
so we are the worst friends ever. we are so sorry we never made it over to the railroad park on saturday. my mom was in town and we planned to go to the zoo that day. we were there much longer then planned and the boys were wasted. We really need to get together so we can see jackson and you can see our boys and even better so we can see you guys. dont hate us, i promise we will get together soon. hope it was a fun night.

Jord said...

You are so amazing Lyndzee and I loved reading about you experience. It must have been hard for all of you, but definitely meant to be and I know Jackson will be forever grateful to have become your child.

Melissa and Trevor said...

I still want to meet this little guy....hey we made our blog private, can you email me at melissadenham@cox.net so I have your email address to make you a reader...noelle told me she talked to you!