Monday, September 28, 2009

My Own Personal Fan Club


Every time I go to pick Jackson up from his crib, whether it is after a nap or after some playtime, he claps. At first this was only occassionally as he learned to clap, but now, even if he has been crying or on his belly, when I lean over the crib he flips on to his back and applauds. I have had a wonderful day today and I attribute it to being applauded several times accompanied by big smiles and hugs. Jackson may not be able to say thank you yet but his little hands give me all I need to keep going. I love my little bug!

Friday, September 4, 2009

I miss...

I miss Costco and Target, pizzas that aren't thin crusted, using a lot of A/C, Jackson sleeping in his own room, buying disposable diapers without feeling financially guilty, the public library system, a couch I can snuggle on that isn't outdoor furniture, gas stations with treat drinks, inexpensive Diet Coke, carpet that I can vacuum instead of sweep, dry heat, a full size refrigerator, a drier, a bathtub, 110 electrical outlets, electrical oven and stove, drive-thru anything, cheap fruit, Ice Tango, being able to dispose of poop properly, driving on the "right" side of the road, the Temple, Jackson as a 3 month old who let me cuddle him all day long, wonderful parents/grandparents, favorite college roommate who always say the right thing, my sister who I didn't talk to a lot anyway but loved having her close, and most of all, Dustin.
I love all of the green around me, the beautiful hills and mountains, the beach, beach beach! That Jackson is becoming so independent and a wonderful little man, that Dustin is working so hard and still lets me know he loves me, a church that means instant, wonderful friends and opportunities to serve, a pool membership, seeing baptisms in the ocean, pool day on Thursday at the faculty pool, learning how to cook new dishes and not eating out, the smoothie place that makes a great Guava smoothie, becoming much better at housework, Jackson's nap times and play times, moms who go out of their way for us and that we have the opportunity of a lifetime!!!




Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Fluffy Bum





So I have been using cloth diapers for a week now and I was all set to give a glowing report of how well I have adjusted to his new task. I wanted to gloat of my new more natural mothering abilities and ask for others to convert to the fluffy stuff as well...that was until we had two "blow outs" this morning. And I don't know who ever came up with the phrase, "When it is your child, you don't mind", because I mind! I hate poopy diapers already (and there really isn't a more graceful way to say it). And having poopy cloth diapers only compounds the problem. Jackson has decided just recently to move from firm to squishy, just in time for me to make the transition from disposable to smelly and washable. Don't worry though, I will not let this very messy morning get me down. I will persevere and conquer! Stay tuned...

Jackson dumped over his toy bin...

and climbed right in!

Monday, August 24, 2009

Where to begin?






Can you believe it? I'm back! And being the truly wonderful mother that I am, I have failed to blog about the first 8 months of Jackson's life...but it is never to late to start. And there is the little fact that we have packed our bags and moved to the Island of Grenada in the West Indies where Dustin has begun his trek through medical school. So that brings me to the topic at hand...Where to begin.
Since part of the reason for my long absence from blogging is the pressure I feel to catch up, I am going to bypass the past and begin with the present.
First: I can't believe we live in Grenada! It is an extremely beautiful, exotic place with wonderfully warm people and a culture I am still trying to figure out. We have been here for only two weeks now and in all honesty it feels like it. I still feel a little isolated, lonely, nervous to go out and about by myself and I am looking at the next two years staring me down like it will be an eternity. But despite all of these feelings, I am positive this will be a life changing experience.
This year has been a whirlwind for us with the adoption of Jackson, Dustin retaking the MCAT, moving in with my parents, moving out of a ward we loved, finding out we were moving to Grenada in June, getting passports, thinking I would have to stay behind while we finalized the adoption, miraculously getting the adoption finalized a week before we left, getting sealed in the temple to Jackson, having Jackson blessed, and finally our two days of travel to get here. And though I have been stressed out beyond measure, scared and overwhelmed, I have felt very aware that my family was being taken care of. In fact, Dustin and I are both very aware that we are no longer able to lack faith in our lives, we have been given too much, time and again, to ever doubt our Heavenly Father, his awareness of us, and the path we are supposed to take.
I know I am getting off track but I am just going to go where my thoughts lead me right now: Our families are amazing. I just want to publicly let them know that we could not do anything without them. We were not able to get loans for this first term and there is no way we would be here now had they not all offered there support, both financially as well as emotionally, and through their service and love. They are there to counsel with us, they have helped us learn as we have raised Jackson, they have put a roof over our heads, helped with transportation, babysat, supported us on our biggest occasions, taken care of our sweet Penny, fed us and most importantly, never stopped believing in Dustin's ability to become a doctor and mine to be a mother.
We love them with all of our hearts and hope that among other ways of paying them back, that we will make them proud of who we become and how we live our lives. Their faith has sustained us when ours was lacking and now we will have the faith we need to continue on.
On the day that Jackson was sealed to us I was overcome with emotion and I believe it to have been the best day in my life. Not only were all three of us made a family for eternity, but I felt very aware of the covenants I had made to Dustin on our sealing day and the promises that were being fulfilled. I am unbelievably grateful for this experience and for this opportunity.
I guess this post was all over the place but now maybe I will be able to do more day-to-day posts in the future. My heart is just so overcome with gratitude that the second I start writing my emotions overflow. I hope I don't ever lose these feelings but hopefully I can at least talk about other things. Thanks for bearing with my ramblings.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

My little love


As I sit here contemplating the last tow months, trying to type with one hand my thoughts while using the other arm to cuddle with Jackson as he recovers from today's shots, I am overwhelmed with gratitude. Never in my life did I think I could love someone so much. From the moment I saw him born I felt my life and heart change and I know I will never be the same.
But let me start at the beginning...although at the rate I am typing I might have to finish another day.
Jackson was born on January 2nd, 2009 at 7am at Scottsdale Memorial Hospital. We were called by his birth mother Mindy on the 1st at 8pm as we were watching Benjamin Button. WE went home, got Penny to leave at my parents, and went to the hospital.
While it was a long night it was also a very special night. Myself and Dustin grew very close to Mindy and her sisters as we waited in the room and it felt like one big family.
As dawn approached we were all getting a little fuzzy headed and tired but as time has shown, that is when Jackson likes to be the most active! It was a fast labor but a difficult one as he came out face up and one of his shoulders was stuck The doctor had to actually put one foot on the bed to brace herself as she pulled Jackson out.
I had hoped I would cry in the way that you know you should cry at weddings and funerals, but nothing could have prepared me for the onslaught of emotion I felt as I saw Jackson come into this world He was gorgeous, in a bruised and smooshed up kinda way :), and I cried as I felt my heart would burst. Perhaps this sounds over dramatic but nothing so dramatic has ever happened to me like this before. I had sent Dustin behind the curtain so as not to make Mindy feel uncomfortable in her exposed state but he saw Jackson as he was placed on the table for cleaning and I know he felt the same way.
The weekend was hard. Mindy was very brave as she spent the days saying goodbye to Jackson and my heart ached to have him home as soon as possible. There is a lot of guilt associated with adoption because you don't want to be the cause of the struggle that I know Mindy felt, but I know we all were helped and uplifted spiritually during that time because on the third night, Mindy handed Jackson over to my arms.
I guess I will leave it at that for now except to say that he now weighs 14 lbs 7 oz and is in the 97th percentile for his weight. He is almoat 24 inches long at 75% and his head is 50%. He is a huge baby boy but that just means more baby to snuggle!




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Sunday, January 11, 2009

Slacker Mom






So sorry for not posting sooner the wonderful news that we adopted a beautiful baby boy this last Monday who was born on Jan. 2nd at 7am. He was 9 lbs. and 21 inches and is gorgeous. I want to go into all of the details of Jackson's journey but time is short these days so for now I will post pics. For those of you on Facebook, these are repetitive. I post on Facebook the most because that is where the birth mother Mindy gets her updates. More to come soon but enjoy these in the mean time

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Happy Anniversary!

So today is our 4 year anniversary and I have never felt so lucky. Not only are we awaiting the arrival of a little boy that we are already in love with, but I am in love with an amazing man (and he loves me too!) I don't want to go on much because whatever I will say will sound a little contrived and mushy but it is enough to say he is my best friend and I will love him forever. Thanks Dustin for a wonderful 4 years and for the eternities to follow.