Bigger Than US

So on Friday we had our homestudy with our case worker for the adoption process. He basically asks us more specific questions then we have already answered in our paperwork to make sure the judge gets all of the correct info. Then he looked over our house to make sure it was clean and child friendly. We just moved into a 2 bedroom apartment so we were up late on Thursday unpacking and putting on the final touches. My mom came over and I would not have been able to finish it without her. She has that mother nack and could put away things that I would just stare at...I was a little tired and fried that night. So now we just need to get a fire extinguisher and baby proof our cabinets with chemicals.
Our case worker was great and answered a lot of our questions and got us revved up again after all of the tedious paperwork had worn us down. He also, however, put a bug in our ear about foster to adopt programs though the state. It is a tough route to go because the goal of foster care is to return the baby to the family and you can end up taking care of an infant for 2 years and then have to give them back to their birth parents. The upside is that once you are certified through the state, you can receive a child to foster rather quickly.
Can I say that as my case worker described this to me it felt great! Dustin felt differently though. He looked at it all more practically and doesn't think we should foster until we have been able to adopt a child of our own. While our case worker described a family that had adopted 4 children through the foster to adopt program, they did have to give their child back the first two times they fostered and he said it was devastating.
I don't know. I can't let go of this feeling that this might be the way to go and it is bigger than us. we would be giving a home to children that really need it. As I looked at the LDS profiles of people looking to adopt, the numbers amazed me. There are so many wonderful people open to adopting, waiting to be chosen, hoping to get picked by a birth mother. And yet there are so many children in the state who need a stable home, who need the love and support that I know we can give. I know it could be challenging, I know we could have our hearts broken, but I can't let the idea go.
So it would be great if you could way in. We are going to an information meeting this Sat. so I will have more to report after that. And I know Dustin's feelings are valid. We are going to have to really pray about it all and be aware of all of the options and consequences before we make a decision.

Girls Night Out

A few friends and myself decided to get together for a girls night and to watch Girls Just Want To Have Fun. Bethany said she thought we should go all out eighties style...so that is what we did. These are some cute pics of us all. We had a great time eating from a chocolate fountain, drinking strawberry daiquiries and chatting. Our topics ranged from families to religion to sex (modestly so) and it all made me love hanging out with girls..something that I hadn't loved doing so much after years of roomates in college. Anywho, enjoy the pics.

Fun Rockband Memories!

Adopting!

Well we have decided to go another direction in our deisres for a family and it is that of adoption. We couldn't be more thrilled. We recently went to an adoption training class, which is really more of an informative class about adoption, and we fell even more in love with the idea than we had before. It really taught us that the child or children that are meant for our family are out there. That through the bravery and faith of a birthmother, we can have the eternal family that was meant for us. I am at a point now where I could care less if I have my own children or if Heavenly Father wants me to adopt them all, either way they will be born from my heart.
We are still in the certification process but in a month or so we should be able to post our profile on the LDS Family Services web site for potential birth mothers. So far, even though we are not even certified yet, this has been a wonderful expereince. It is teaching me patience, as we must wait to be choosen by a birth mother, faith, I have to have faith that their is a child out there meant by Heavenly Father for me and Dustin, and love, love for all of those who help us with this process, love for all those who make the courageous decision to give up thier children for adoption so that the child can be part of an eternal family, love for my sweet husband who walked through a rain storm to get a check to the court because he said he would do anything for us to receive a child, and love for this amazing gospel that lets us know there is a plan for everyone and that Heavenly Father knows us each individually.
Once we get certified, and I guess even now, we will need everyone's help in getting the word out. You never know how the connection will come along that will bring us the child meant for our family. Please pray for us (as if we haven't asked for your prayers enough this year) and fell free to write and ask any questions. I love adoption and it is about all I ever talk about right now. We love you all!

New Toys!

So my mom, despite how old we all proclaim to be, or how much we say we only need certain usefull items for Christmas, knows the kids inside us all and got Dustin and I a playstation for Christmas. Now, we aren't really video game people. Dustin has never been that guy who brushed me off to play a game or who found himself staring at a game screen straight for an entire weekend (there are these guys out there). But now we are officially addicted! We also got a game called Rockband with our playstation and we love it. Not only does it have a guitar and drums you can play with it, but there is also a mic so there are vocals. I love to sing, anywhere, anytime. I am not saying I am great or good at it but singing is my favorite thing to do. So in our band I am "Red Hot" the lead vocalist and I get to sing to my hearts content while Dustin is perfectly content learning to strum this toy guitar. If anyone is in AZ anytime soon, come stop by and you can join our band for the time being, we need someone for drums!!!!

Keepin'On, keepin' on!

Well hello there, that is if anyone checks my blog any more since I haven't written in forever. Well I guess I should start with the fact that the artificail insemination didn't work out. It was not fun to find out at the time but we are moving on and staying positive. Add to that I have a sister and sister in law who are found out they are pregnant and we had quite the roller coaster month recently (feeling greast excitement to be an aunt being one of the "ups" of the roller coaster ride). We are still trying but we have had a few more bumps in the road with cycts that have both popped (very painful) and those that are just hangin out and stoping us from currently trying anything else. i have heard about every sort of comforting phase, especially that it is just not our time, but that doesn't really make the journey easier. However, I am determined to enjoy the journey, the good and bad. I keep reminding myself how valuable this time is with Dustin, that I have the ability to work and support him right now, that I have abundant time to think up a billion and one baby names, that I don't have long nights yet or any dirty diapers. I am determined to be a favorite aunt and in the mean time I can feel sorry for my sister's morning sickness instead of my own. We are counting our blessing everyday.
On the Dustin front, we are currently preparing to apply for Teach for America and to have Dustin graduate with his bachelor's in May. He still wants to be a doctor but this year didn't work out and we both think taking some time off of school mught be a good thing. Teach for America is an oportunity for Dustin to teach in inner city schools any where in the US for 2 years. They have a rigorous training the summer before you start and they are a very competitive program. We don't know if we will get in and if not we are fine with staying in town and reapplying to med school this summer. This has been a very difficult semester for Dustin, he has taken his most difficult science classes and right now is just crossing his fingers to pass. However, I know how hard he has worked and how brilliant he is. I know that he will become a doctor even if we take the longer route (the longer way seems to be our niche) and I am loving the adventures, the waiting and the fact that we have had to rely on our Heavenly Father's wisdom more than ever this year.
I will try to stay up on this more. We get to go away to Durango after Christmas so I should have some pics.

Happy Holidays!

Red Hair

So I have been severely out of commision these past two months as we as a family have been taking care of my dad and recently threw him his 50th b-day party...which was absolutely wonderful. However, I must continue in the journal of my life since it seems to continue no matter what.
The first little note is that I have dyed my hair red. I love it and think it looks fabulous, but if you know me then you know this could change in a matter of years, months or minutes.
The second thing that has gone on recently is that Dustin and I have done artificial insemination. I only mentioned briefly in my "about me" section about our struggle to start a family but I thought since this is more that just a blog but my journal (and prettty much the only journal I am good at keeping up with) i should keep it honest and updated. Its funny, a couple of years ago I would never have thought to talk about "baby making" issues so openly. However, after talking about everything with numerous doctors, keeping my immediate family always up to date and being asked a lot of questions, the shyness has been replaced with the blunt facts...and dont ask me how I feel about it all unless you really want to hear, because I will tell you. : )

I guess that is all for now, I won't know if the procedure "took" for a couple of weeks but we are use all the positive energy we have.

New Blog

For updates on my dad and his recovery and to drop notes, please visit a blog that will document his improvement and journal his journey. www.willnowell.blogspot.com

Is it being prideful if you are proud of someone else?

As hard of a time as I give my husband, and I do give him a hard time most of the time, he is always amazing me and impressing me. First of all I am going to brag (without his consent) that he recieved straight A's his last semester. This having been done while working part time, doing bee research, trying to magnify his calling and taking on a school load of 20 credits. For some of you go getters out there this may all seem run of the mill, however, when Dustin and I got married balancing school and marriage was a difficult thing to balance...and this semester he found his groove. Also in the "my husband is the greatest" department, Dustin had been taking the bus to school recently when he decided he wanted to bring his bike on the bus so he could get across campus more easily. However, one morning he missed the bus and decided to ride all the way to campus! I am not sure how far it is but it is a good hours bike ride away. He has done this two other times since and plans to make it a routine. This is not something I would ever have done and I love him for doing it. To sum up, I think I have the most motivated, smartest, cutest, sweetest and "does the most gosh-darn things" husband ever.

I know i am not alone in these feelings so feel free to share your adoration of your loved ones!

Movie of the Week!

We rented this from Netflix...and can I say how much I love Netflix, it allows you to see movies you would never have otherwise come across or chosen...anywho, Gandhi was fabulous. I don't know about you but I have always viewed Gandhi as a "more than human" character. Not to say that he was god like or anything but more of a superhero or too good to be true. This film brought him to life for me, it brought his principles to life for me and made his words more that just clever or insightful sayings, but words to live by, words to act by. And Gandhi's teachings are very relevant for our times today. The way he way he was able to get an entire country behind him to reinforce peaceful resistance is amazing. For a time Gandhi was able to get the Hindus and the Muslims to work together to accomplish their goal in unity, how wonderful would it be today to have the Democrats and Republicans and Indepedents come together, to inspire the nation to come together to have one goal. I doubt a fast on any one of our leaders parts today would cause the country to change. This movie, as simple of a medium as it may seem to inspire, made me realize that I want more from our leaders than I am seeing in this up and coming election. I want someone I can get behind. I am tired of saying that there are 2 or 3 that I would be OK with becoming our president. I want someone who inspires me to put a bumper sticker on my car (although I personally hate bumper stickers), who inspires me to debate on thier behalf, who makes me cry if they lose.
I know I have taken this movie review a little far, but does anyone else feel this way?